Hi Lin and Derek,
Just wanted you to know that I continue to pray for you both daily. Envisioning as these bold winds blow that they are taking away the cancer cells and leaving you with a clean and healthy body.
Love and peace, hugs enclosed.
all my love to you beautiful lady, you are in all my prayers and meditations, may the light of love's healing gifts embrace your spirit and body.
Derek...we have been getting the updates and have written a few times and we hope you received our donation....most importantly, we think of you both often and we love you both very very much! YOU and LIN are such an inspiration to Wilma and i for the beautiful way you live your lives!!
I have been receiving the messages and so glad to know how all is going. There are so many times in the day that I think and pray for you and Lin. I know that you are there, fully present and so aware of your own and Lin's feelings through all of this. I'm here, so is Charlie...I hold you in my arms with a warm embrace dear friend.
Just a quick note to say I am thinking about you and hoping that you are finding the support you need. I continue to send Lin love and healing energy. It meant so much to read her words and receive her gift. And of course you are always dear to my heart and especially now. If I could give you my power to keep up your strength I would. Here comes all I have to spare through the cosmos. Love to you Derek,
At times like these it is hard to stay positive, but it is important that we do. So, please hang in there, there are many people whose lives you have touched, I know I am one of them, and for that I am very greatful. We will send you positive thoughts and prayers. Your friend always
Hello Lin and Derek,
I just want you to know that I have been able to light incense for you as we visit temples along the way. I was able to do so in Hoi An and again today in Saigon.I hope it's helping.
Warm wishes for you both
Lin, as I read your journal this morning I'm very conscious of what a pioneering journey you are on. I feel as though you're doing this for me and my patients as well, because the inspiration and information in your journal is giving me the recognition that we can all make choices even when our allopathic system tries to coerce us into believing that there is only one way. I really admire your courage and I honour your open-ness in sharing your details of your experience with this lousy disease. I bless you and Derek for your witness and love.
Journal Entry Three - February 19, 2007 by Lin
Amazingly, it’s over a month since my last journal entry. So much has happened. I spent much of this time getting treatments at Dr. Jim Chan’s clinic in Richmond. Jimmy Chan is a naturopathic physician who has been treating cancer for 19 years. He is so passionate and dedicated , as are his highly trained staff, and they offer treatment 7 days a week, much of this being intravenous administration of anticancer compounds. I spent many hours on an IV drip each day, talking to other patients and hearing incredible stories of their healing journeys. Many of these people had been told they had 3 or 6 months to live and were sent home to die and have gone on to heal their cancer and live well beyond the times given. I met a woman, Karen, who started the “I’m Not Dead Yet Club”, an idea that came to her based on her being sent home to die several times, and she felt as if in the Monty Python movie “the Holy Grail” when they went around during the plague with a wagon, intoning “bring out your dead”. When someone tried to throw an elderly man on he said, "But I’m not dead yet".
Every time Karen was told to go home and die, she felt she had to insist that she wasn’t dead yet, and proves it every day. The testing and treatment at Dr. Chan’s clinic is extensive, intense, and very well researched and I felt a distinct positive shift. He is so passionate about his work, and is arranging for non-profit status so that his work will continue on after him. I would like to say so much more about his clinic, and will do so another time. I will go back for more treatments even though it is a stretch financially, as I feel so much better on the whole, and my really elevated tumour markers dropped by one third. Right now I need to take a break as I have a big problem with constipation, and need to get things going again so that toxins are coming out well. I tell you, the things you learn going through this are endless – I am really getting to know my colon well and the many ways one can coax things along!
I realise that I haven’t really explained what kind of cancer I have, and so for the record it is an endometrial cancer in my right lower abdomen, with many different kinds of cancer cells, including bone, muscle, organ like an embryo trying to grow. It is very friable which means it breaks up and falls apart on attempted removal, and so quite a large mass was still left in after the surgery. This is an advanced cancer, and could have been growing for at least 10 years, but all scans I had done prior to surgery indicated that it was a fibroid. I have an appointment with a second oncologist this week, Dr. Klimo on the North Shore, who has a very good reputation and is also often in contact with Dr. Chan and knows of his work. I am not shutting the door on chemo, but am wondering what the choices are now – originally it was not really an option for a number of reasons. This is a tough one but I will see what Dr. Klimo can offer.
Every day is still a gift and a struggle. I am still learning to surrender to this and not fight or operate in fear – all the things I thought I knew are being re-evaluated. I didn’t think I was so afraid. Yesterday I was doing a slow walk on our treadmill, and listening to a song that ended with several repeating of “I am not afraid”. Suddenly I found myself saying over and over again “I am not afraid”, and it got louder and more passionate, and I was sobbing and yelling this phrase over and over, yelling and crying over the next song, walking still and felt this wrenching sound come from deep within. I was so very afraid, and now understand that – this phrase triggered that fear, and its need to be out of me. I walked and sobbed, called out over and over again “I AM NOT AFRAID”. Afterward, as I calmed, I realised how much more relaxed I was, able to accept this day more easily, able to stay in the moment more and not jump ahead too much (what if I still can’t poop, and I am getting so toxic, and I still can’t eat, and I lose more weight).
It’s all OK if I relax and stay in the here and now, opening up my heart to all your prayers and healing meditations. Thank you everyone for continuing to support me in this way, and for your emails and cards. I haven’t been able to email much lately with being away, so know that I will, and that I appreciate you so much.
Thank you and may the light and prayers flow through and around us all.