Derek...we have been getting the updates and have written a few times and we hope you received our donation....most importantly, we think of you both often and we love you both very very much! YOU and LIN are such an inspiration to Wilma and i for the beautiful way you live your lives!!
I have been receiving the messages and so glad to know how all is going. There are so many times in the day that I think and pray for you and Lin. I know that you are there, fully present and so aware of your own and Lin's feelings through all of this. I'm here, so is Charlie...I hold you in my arms with a warm embrace dear friend.
Just a quick note to say I am thinking about you and hoping that you are finding the support you need. I continue to send Lin love and healing energy. It meant so much to read her words and receive her gift. And of course you are always dear to my heart and especially now. If I could give you my power to keep up your strength I would. Here comes all I have to spare through the cosmos. Love to you Derek,
At times like these it is hard to stay positive, but it is important that we do. So, please hang in there, there are many people whose lives you have touched, I know I am one of them, and for that I am very greatful. We will send you positive thoughts and prayers. Your friend always
Hello Lin and Derek,
I just want you to know that I have been able to light incense for you as we visit temples along the way. I was able to do so in Hoi An and again today in Saigon.I hope it's helping.
Warm wishes for you both
Journal Entry Two - January 17, 2007 by Lin
Well, a couple of weeks later, and I see patterns emerge. I have had days of extreme pain and despair, and days of minimal pain and great hope. I see more clearly how my emotional state influences this very much. I had a recent two day bout of pain that would not be relieved, after having a difficult conversation with someone I love. Derek, Lani and I met that second day; this was an emergency meeting as we were scared by the intense change. We talked about getting more help. The day to day can be overwhelming and is not allowing me to get to the practical things such as the reams of paperwork to complete, and decisions to be made. We discussed asking some of the many people who have offered to help to do just that. Suddenly I started sobbing, and couldn’t stop for some time. I realized that this was such a big letting go for me. I have always been strong, independent, smart, and very private. Government forms that I would have whipped through in minutes not so long ago are now insurmountably complicated. I now needed to have others in my home cleaning and cooking and doing those things I did effortlessly before. I was crying for that lost person, and for that lost protection of privacy. And also feeling how important to let this happen – to be vulnerable, let others in to help, allow myself to be in the role of the many I have helped in the past.
After crying for some time, I calmed, and realized that the stubborn, extreme pain I had been experiencing for these two days was gone – just like that. My pain has been much less since. And now we are back in the hope, seeing a positive future. We now know that the dark days always change. The hope always comes back. The pain is always eventually relieved. The vision for the future always returns.
What hard lessons. I don’t want to be reliant, weak, tired, fuzzy. I need to be here though. I need to go to the other extreme to find my balance point, to find a life of truly receiving as well as giving. Unbelievably difficult for me in the past, I now need to stay open, feel the pain and being one with it – what stupid person said that – do they know how hard that is, to let the pain in? It is the only answer though – come closer to the painful, scary things and they are understood then dispersed, minimized. So, what am I saying? - that all is great here, and I am on my path, rocks and all. Thank you as always to all of you for your healing thoughts, prayers, and wishes. I am letting their bright light shine in, and all through me.
Love to all of us.